Nike’s “Just Do It!” is famous around the world. It encourages you to get up and get moving. What are you waiting for? Just do it!
When it comes to influence “Just Do It” is great advice to build relationships and strengthen existing ones. But there’s a twist; just do the right things because they’re the right things to do.
Last week I completed my final Principles of Persuasive Selling Workshop at State Auto Insurance. Over the past decade I’ve led nearly 60 workshops and worked with more than 700 managers and salespeople. When it comes to relationship building I always emphasize to participants they should do the right things just because they’re the right things to do. Let me explain.
When it comes to engaging the principle reciprocity I’ve heard people describe it this way, “Give to get.” No, don’t give to get! When people sense you have an agenda, you’re only giving or helping in order to pull some lever and get a favor in return, they’ll probably reject your offer.
You should give because it’s the right thing to do and the best way to live life. Thousands of years ago Jesus taught His followers it was better to give than receive. He understood how humans thought and behaved and knew people would naturally want to give back to those who first gave to them.
When you give without expectation some people might take advantage of you. However, I think you’ll find far more appreciate your generosity and will be open to helping you whenever you may need it in the future. This is why Zig Ziglar used to tell audiences, “You can get everything you want in life if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.”
Tap into Liking
The other relationship building principle is liking. I think you’d agree that life is richer and more fulfilling when you have many friends and loved ones. However, don’t focus on getting people to love or like you because you might come across as desperate.
Instead, focus on coming to like people. When you focus on others, and people sense you truly like and care about them, they become far more open to any request you might make. Why? Because we naturally assume friends do right by friends. Abraham Lincoln put it this way, “If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him you are his sincere friend.”
When you tap into the principle of liking it all but removes manipulation from the persuasion equation. Why do I say that? Because when you truly like someone – you can call them friend – you won’t manipulate them. Far from it because you want the best for your friends and loved ones.
Let me wrap up with a question – Do you want more, and better, relationships? If you answered yes then I have two simple suggestions. First, go into situations with this mindset; I want to like the people I work with and serve. Look for the best in others, talk about what you have in common and give sincere praise when it’s due.
Second, focus on giving in ways that will be beneficial for the people you come across. This is much easier when you actually like them because you’ll naturally want to help your friends. And the more you know them the more appropriate your giving and help will be.
Relationship building isn’t rocket science. All it takes is your willingness and a little more effort. Just Do It!
Brian Ahearn, CMCT®, is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE, LLC. His Lynda.com/LinkedIn Learning course, Persuasive Selling, has been viewed nearly 150,000 times! The course teaches you how to ethically engage the psychology of persuasion throughout the sales process. Not watched it yet? Click here to see what you’ve been missing.