This month’s Influencers from Around the World post comes to us by way of Italy and Marco Germani. Marco has been guest writing for me almost since the start of this blog. In addition to helping me out several times a year he took time to write his own book on persuasion in Italian, I Meccanismi della
Persuasione. I encourage you to reach out to Marco on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter because he loves connecting with people.
Helping You Learn to Hear “Yes”.
our powers of persuasion, forgoing the chance to move others in our direction in an ethical way that’s also in their best interest.
Smith can lend a hand because he has a meeting with a key customer of the company the next morning and producing sales report is of the highest priority for the colleague. He also needs to produce some other documents and has no time to do this by himself before the meeting.
responsiveness and the timing of his action, telling him that he pretty much “saved
his life.” How should Dr. Smith respond to this praise? Being a person of integrity and honesty he simply says, “Well, you don’t even have to thank me, it was a small thing, I had already prepared a similar study and didn’t do anything else but send it with a few changes. I would have done it for anyone!”
Sound familiar? Maybe it’s happened to you recently.
have done instead. We can identify three fundamental points:
Do not belittle the magnitude of the action. This doesn’t mean you have to brag about what you have done, saying that the report cost us hours and hours of work, because this wouldn’t be ethical! Just say something like, “I tried to create for you the most accurate and precise report possible. I put all my efforts in it and I am glad you appreciate it.” The detail that the report has already created is beside the
point when it comes to persuasion and may be omitted.
Highlight the fact that the action was done specifically because the request came from that person. Instead of saying, “I’d do it for anyone,” say, “I know how important it was for you and I know how hard you work, so if I could give you a hand, I did it very willingly.” In other words, we are customizing our action.
Laying the foundations to be reciprocated. Proper use of a moment of power gives us a future persuasive lever to use with that person. Another way to look at it is it gives us a “credit” with the other person and the principle of reciprocity alerts us to the fact that the other person will feel obligated to reciprocate in some way. To emphasize and establish this point you just say a simple but powerful phrase, “I know you would have done the same for me if the roles were reversed.”
thanks you for a favor and how, you can now quickly and easily apply the three
points described above. Begin to practice this technique now so you don’t miss
any more “moments of power.”